22nd August 2017
***07:00 AM***
Yet again, I had a sleepless night.
It owed more to my day with Neelika and afterthoughts about how I should have said or done some things differently. I had barely bought a few knick-knacks and accessories for her.
I also screwed up the chance to kiss her when she was talking closely to me in the coffee shop. Which self-respecting girl would take the initiative? She can only throw hints; which she did, and I missed.
Reflecting is the strangest power of mind. It not only staggers you to recreate the past; it also allows you to change it, twist it and even better it.
Your version of reality may even modify if you do it as often as an unsleeping Karan Gehlot does.
I got ready and went to college. Our first lecture was a no-show, which meant entire class was busy in chatting and making noises. Neelika and her groupies; three girls including her and four-five rowdy bullies of our class made a program to catch the morning show of latest release.
Out of courtesy they offered to the class if anyone else too was interesting in joining. I caught Neelika eyeing me. I stood up and shouted, “Yes I’d like to come.”
Usually it was an unsaid norm that everyone went to the movies in their own mini-groups and didn’t mingle with each other outside college gates. The other boys of her gang were surprised but shrugged as I anyway didn’t hung-out with them and thought it might be good for a change.
Soon we were sitting in Anuj’s large black Scorpio. These people always hung-out together anyway, so their banter soon shifted to me.
“So Karan, One and a half years of college and this is the first time you agreed to come for the movie. What’s with that bro?” Ramandeep asked from the front.
I was sandwiched between Shruti, Neelika and the third girl Neha at the back seat. These girls were so thin anyways so there was enough room for me to sit with them instead of boys in the middle row.
My usual reticence showed up, as I wondered how to reply him in-order to not invite their common teasing.
“Err… eh nothing, actually, I had always wanted to come but… but… I don’t know, somehow the opportunity never happened.” I stammered to an answer.
A guy Pranjal replied, “You alright bro? Why you shaking? We are not going to do anything to you, relax.” All others joined him and coaxed me to lighten up. Somehow though, the air wasn’t that friendly and I felt like a show-doll in my new company.
I decided to instead focus on Neelika. She talked less with me, trying to appear normal in front of her friends as they gossiped and joked loudly.
Right outside the cinema hall, we bumped into our juniors, and ofcourse my nemesis, Rana. The two groups soon mingled with each other. I noticed something special in Neelika’s eyes when she saw him but I ignored my overthinking capacities.
We all took control over one sub-section of that pvr-auditorium and I deliberately caught the seat next to her.
As the credits rolled on screen, she whispered, “Karan you can’t stay away from me, can you? I never thought you’d show so much boldness and come out with us, just to be with me.” I thought she meant as a compliment so brought my wounded left arm and caressed her cheek.
She noticed bandages and asked, “O oh, what happened?”
“Nothing, some small injuries.”
She kissed my bare skin next to those bandages. My heart moved an inch to its right. This was the first time a girl had had any physical contact with my body.
My phone beeped, diverting my attention. It announced that two hundred and fifty thousand rupees were credited in my account! It was my prize-money from yesterday!
I mentally calculated that at this rate, I’d be a worth a crore if not more by end of this game. Another three weeks. I noticed that especially over last couple of days, I cared lesser about the game and its motives or anything else, but the number of zeroes it added to my bank account.
After the movie, I offered a grand luncheon to my newfound friends as a gesture.
Rana and gang too were invited to join. I didn’t feel as threatened or undone in his company anymore.
We all raided the restaurant nearby where I pestered Ramandeep to place a large order of food and drinks, taking care of everyone’s preferences since I was a novice.
Ramandeep casually embraced me and remarked, “Karan dude, you are a lovely chap. Why didn’t we found more about you before?” Everyone agreed.
Free food always wins you friends.
Neelika looked the happiest; she kept stealing glances at me and then got up from the table to walk to the restroom. I followed her.
The restrooms were in the backside of the kitchen, after crossing a long alley.
Once there, she pulled me to a hidden spot and pressed me to a wall. After a few heavy breathes, she leaned forward and her lips fell on mine. We French-kissed for more than a minute. Adrenaline rushed to my brain as her incredibly soft and warm lips played with mine. It felt like the whole world had stopped and I had forgotten everything.
Then she finally left and looked in my eyes. Her lips still looked moist and glistened with my saliva. I removed my spectacles and was about to say something sloppy.
“Neelika, I love…”
“Wait Karan, before you say anything, there are rules beyond this point.”
“Rules?”
She didn’t say anything but reacted. Her other free hand pulled a figure from behind the wall. A towering person appeared.
“Rana??” I startled, “What? Why? I mean….”
She ignored my questions, but instead bent to him now.
Their kiss was of greater intensity, and it was clear it wasn’t their first. After a few seconds they both looked at me as Neelika replied, “Hey its okay Karan, I will explain you. But let me first compliment your manly style. You are one hell of a kisser, and I am sure, have even better undiscovered abilities.”
I didn’t know if it was meant to be a compliment or a rebuke.
Rana walked away from the scene and we started returning to the dining area when she told me,
“Look Karan, Rana is my old boyfriend. We have been going around even before college, as he lives in my locality. Our families have known each other since we were little. But the thing is, I have seen you drooling over me for some time, and you know it so don’t deny it.”
I didn’t say anything.
She continued, “I don’t know if I can explain it to you well, but he has a very dominating persona. And I love that about him. However, like any other girl, I have this inner need to be treated softly and gently by a man like you. Somebody to pamper me and not take me for granted like he does.”
“So in a perverted-sort of way, I am attracted to you too.”
“That night in hostel, I made that story up about sleep-walking.”
“Actually, I had sneaked in the boy’s hostel to be with him and we were, you know screwing around. When he saw you walking in the alley at that hour, he sent me after you as he thought you were upto something. So he wanted to catch and make fun of you, typical Rana.”
I smirked nervously.
“Anyway the thing is I have told him about you and that I’d like to explore this little chemistry developing between us. He is totally cool with it, infact as you just saw; he didn’t mind us kissing at all. He is such an open-minded guy. I hope you understand what I am going through though – this is not two timing. This is about being true to my real feelings.” Saying those closing words, she again stopped and stood facing me. We were barely a few tables from where our friends were placed.
And then she kissed me again. This time, our entire group saw. Some had their mouths opened in awe – the goddess Rati of our batch kissing a schmuck like me.
She smiled and went away with the promise of meeting in hostel again tonight.
As it happens in such situations, my testosterone-full mind succumbed and I accepted the twisted situation at its face value.
***Later that day***
@admin: hey champ. You didn’t send the acknowledgement on your day5 task
@lowlife: is it sent out? Sorry I missed the mail, man
@admin: What do you mean you missed? Just because you made some needle marks on your arm or watched a youtube video mean you have conquered the world? Your yesterday’s task was infact not well performed either, there were hardly enough comments on your status – yet you got your promised reward in full.
@lowlife: hey was I supposed to induce responses? The task didn’t say so admin.
@admin: look champ. I told you initially and I tell you again. You have to figure out certain stuff by yourself. This is not an ordinary game. This is your destiny-altering, holy adventure of the blue whale. If you survive, your name will be glorified beyond any ordinary person’s imagination of himself. Think of Che Guevara.
@lowlife: I know, I know. I am sorry if you’ve found me digressing. You know it already about what’s going in my love life. I admit she took more of my mind-space of-late.
@admin: Who? That girl? She’s using you.
@lowlife: how can you say that?
@admin: I know everything, I am all-pervasive. I am god.
For split seconds, I didn’t type anything. Because I knew he could be right. He almost always knew every-fucking-thing!
@lowlife: How do you think she is using me? Please tell me more about it admin, I don’t want to make a fool of myself.
@admin: You will find out. Get back your focus on the game.
(admin logged out)
My mailbox had the night’s task – Get up at 12:45AM and watch The Exorcist; the famous horror movie from Hollywood. Then go to the roof.
The mail had a link to its torrent download. I quietly saved it and replied back my acceptance.
Honestly I had seen it before, so even though I had promised him of getting back my focus to the game – it was elsewhere already. I knew the task should be a cakewalk, and my account will be heftier tomorrow. What I couldn’t figure out was my tonight’s date with her.
***11:30 PM***
Neelika texted me on watsapp – I am entering the hostel, will be in Rana’s room. Come and meet me there.
I deliberated her message and also thought about the possible theory admin mentioned. I carefully chose not to reply back, fearing his observation to be true.
??? …Came another text.
I am busy in an assignment. can we do this another time please? I texted her back.
Today we had no classes Karan! Don’t avoid me. Meet me, I may have something special for you. She messaged, and followed it up with a few hearts alongwith kissing smileys.
Okay, see you in a couple of hours. But not Rana’s room, I feel weird. Come to the roof instead.
She returned a thumbs-up.
My jitteriness increased.
At twelve-thirty I started playing the Exorcist movie but my heart wasn’t into it.
I kept forwarding through scenes, as I knew the story anyway. Finally as the priest throws himself out of the window I paused it and closed the browser.
I saw the time – it was 1:30 AM.
I opened my room and tried to make minimal noise. My phone’s light though kept flashing as the admin’s messages kept showing up.
I knew he’d be upset for not doing the task to the T. How the hell does he come to know of everything anyway?
As I opened the creaky old door to our hostel’s roof, a wind of warm air hit through me. There were thunderstorms in the sky, and it looked like it would rain anytime. I walked around a little when my phone buzzed.
I picked it, “Neelika, where are you?”
She giggled. It sounded like Rana too was next to her.
She was pleading to let her talk. She said, “Come to this room Karan, why playing hard-to-get?”
Just then, Rana would have done some obvious silliness as she gave a loud howl.
She laughed hard and made kissing sound to me over the phone. I couldn’t make her wait any longer. So I returned and started climbing down the stairs to go get her.
Rana’s room was full of smoke.
If it were a normal hour, I’d have alerted the fire authorities to send help. His room also had a certain flavor to it – something missing from my own and the other kids’ I hung out with.
The sofa looked affluent and so did his table and had a large iMac on one side. His Harley Davidson helmet and few biking accessories occupied the rest of it, besides some neatly arranged books.
There were beer bottles rolling on the floor while Rana lay on the bed in his Bermuda shorts and vest.
His arms were beefy and heavily tattooed. He looked stoned.
Neelika was sitting on a chair with her bare legs resting on the edge of that bed and just wore a short spaghetti top displaying her fair shoulder skin and arms.
As she saw me, she jumped and came and started kissing me hard.
This was nowhere as enjoyable as the kiss we had in afternoon. Her mouth reeked of alcohol and other substances.
Finally when she left me, I asked her, “So what’s the deal here Neelu, why were you desperate to meet? Can’t we go to a little more private place?”
Rana lifted his head in disbelief. A moment ago I had thought he had passed out. He and Neelika looked at each other and blurted together, “Neelu??” and bursted laughing.
What followed, broke my heart broke into pieces.
It was more terrifying that watching The Exorcist.
She climbed on the bed and lay next to him and quickly removed his shorts. She went down on him while gestured me to come to her as well. Like a robot, I walked upto them as her other free hand worked on my lowers. Then she started fondling me and laughed hysterically. Rana joined her.
“Did I not tell you Rana?” He nodded and pushed his head backwards.
She left him and told me, “Hey Karan, why don’t you sit on the chair and help yourself. I will come to you after I am done with my lover. You watch and learn, okay?” and then went back to her old position.
So there I was, watching these two animal-lovers in live porn, bestowed with god’s bodily blessings and making me a silent yet non-active partner in their illicit act.
As if to tease me, she kept taking my name as they moved to the next level of their debauchery.
Like a puppet, I kept sitting there as well. My phone was beeping continuously and I brought it out, just to look busy as they made out.
The last message was from admin– ‘Get out of there you coward!’ I got up and slammed the door behind me.
***EGO BRUISED***
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